Hello everyone! I'm Miss Sophie and I'm here to answer your questions about
being a gay dog or being a gay dog owner.
It can be difficult to determine what is the
best approach to take with a gay pet in the house.I am here to offer advice and help in raising a
gay pet, a rewarding and rich experience for all...
My house mate, Virgil who is the host of this
site is Gay, so I know first hand what you may be going through...
I hope i can be of assistance to you and your
pet. I
highly recommend that you read;
IS YOUR DOG GAY?
which can shed some light on the matter in a cute and humorous way.
I've also included a section here called; "Learning to Lick Yourself" which
offters Tips in increasing your self esteem as a Gay Dog.
Please use the form below to direct your questions to Miss Sophie. I will post your questions and answers on
this page and notify you be email.
Also, make sure to show your pride with a GAY DOG T-SHIRT and help with the transition with some essentials and accessories at the
GAY DOG BOUTIQUE.
Dear Miss Sophie,
I don't think my daddy loves me anymore.
Last weekend he went out for several hours and when he returned home he had what
looked like a big happy meal box with a puppy in it. I am sad because I don't
get to spend as much time playing with my daddy anymore. He is spending all of
his free time with the puppy. I need some advice. Will a puppy flush down the
toilet like a goldfish?
Bichon Betty
Dear Bitchy Betty...I mean Bichon Betty,
Your daddy doesn't love you any less than
before. It just sounds to me like he is getting tired of your complaining and so
am I for that matter. Listen Betty. That little puppy soon will be your best
friend and playmate. So get over yourself, girlfriend and let the good times
begin.
Dear Miss Sophie.
I have been very lucky to
have my best friend living next door to me for three years now. Yesterday, I
heard his daddy tell my daddy that they have to move because his house was being
furclosed (whatever that means). I also heard his daddy say that where he is
moving to doesn't allow pets. I am not only worried about losing my best friend,
but I am worried that he may end up at the shelter. How can I let my daddy know
that I don't mind sharing my food and my bed with "Buddy". I would do anything
to keep my best friend form being scared and homeless. Please help me.
Jack Russell
Oh my dear little Jack,
What a sweetheart you
must be. I would start by asking your daddy if you can have a sleepover with
Buddy. This way he will get to know Buddy. Let your daddy see how well behaved
you two are together. Take turns sitting on his lap and don't forget to look up
often and let him see those big sweet puppy dog eyes. This works most every
time.Best of Luck!
Dear Miss Sophie,
I recently turned 16
(months) old and my parents say I am old enough to date. My mommy has made an
appointment for my very first grooming down at the "Sittin' Pretty" Salon. I am
afraid they may be trying to pimp me out so I will make puppies. I don't want to
be a mommie. Please help!
I'm Not A Breeda
Dear I'm Not A Breeda,
The three things you need to remember girlfriend are 1) Drop 2) Kick and 3) Roll
Drop your tail down between your legs (if you have one) this will keep his eyes
off the prize
Kick him in the balls (if he has them) if he doesn't you have nothing to fear
Roll your eyes and him and utter "AS IF".
If the three previous fail you may want to enlist the help of your Anal Glands.
Dear Miss Sophie,
I am like every other boy dog except for the fact that I am gay. I don't dress
in bright colors or squat when I pee. I don't howl out show tunes at the dog
park and my blanket is not 700 count Egyptian Cotton. So why did my daddy name
me Nellie?
Signed Not Nellie
In South Philly
Dear Nellie Fellie,
Sorry, I couldn't resist. Some daddies are
just stupid. Don't worry about it. If you want to get even chew up the remote
control.
Dear Miss Sophie,
I am purplexed. I have a secret. My best friend is a cat. I know that dogs and
cats are not supposed to get along, but we do. I am afraid that the other dogs
will make fun of me if they find out my secret. Is there something wrong with
me?
Thank you. Pussywhipped in Peoria
Dear Pussywhipped,
It's a new era. A black President, Gay marriage,
Lesbian Talkshow Hosts. I think the world can handle dogs and cats being
friends. Don't worry about what others may think. Life is too short. I just
wouldn't invite your friend Kitty to play in your sandbox. It could lead to
problems.
Got a Question? Ask Miss Sophie
LEARNING TO LICK YOURSELF
COMMUNITY SUPPORT-
Eventually your dog will need to seek out his own for support in the community. This can be scary for the gay novice.
How to tell the difference between a sniff of the rear and a proposition can be confusing for newly gay. Offering your bone to a complete stranger can be misconstrued on occasions.
Then there's the biggest worry of all for the parent of a gay dog. The fear of your sweet angel catching fleas. What would the neighbors think? I recommend having "the talk" with the little prince(ss) at about 10 months of age and then a refresher course again every birthday.
SHITZU HAPPENS-
We all cannot be Tea Cup Ballerinas or formidable Boxers. We may never be able to wear Fashion like the Italian Greyhound down the block or French Poodle at the park.
A few of you may even be butt-ugly adopted or rescued by your owners out of sympathy or to scare away burglars. Whatever the case, I am here to tell you we can all be fabulous!
A winning personality and carefree companion will triumph over trophy dog every time. Take the ShitZu for example. This breed has been so adored through the ages because of it's charisma not it looks. If this bug-eyed breed with notoriously bad teeth and breathing issues can capture the hearts of millions...so can you.
CRY ME A RETRIEVER
We all have a tendency to brood and cry when we are left home alone. We cannot understand why we are not able to go everywhere or mommies and daddies go.
I feel this time could be better used on self improvement, exercise, or learning a new trick. Free time is a gift you must use wisely. Don't mope and don't cry me a retriever.
CHOW TIME
Learning to lick yourself involves being able to accept yourself for who you are and being able to forgive yourself for that which you have failed. We must also allow others the same luxuries of acceptance and forgiveness
Take the Chow Chow for example. The flesh of these dogs was considered a delicacy in China (dog is still eaten in China today). This beautiful dog was first brought to England by merchants in the late 1800's. The name probably originated from the word "Chow" which means I'm fixing to eat you in most languages. The Chow is a tempermental breed for good reason and have been known to bite you when you least expect it.
How are they to know if you are planning on brushing them or basting them? The Chow Chow has learned the art of forgiving without forgetting. This is a lesson for us all.
